True Love?

I've been thinking a lot about lovely lately. And, it's funny, but this long line of thought started with a simple Korean soap opera, or, as we call it in Korea, a drama. It's called Playful Kiss (that's a rough translation), and the storyline is about this girl who's not smart, not beautiful, not tall, not athletic, and is most definitely not rich. She falls in love with this guy her freshman year of high school and this guy, he's perfect: smart, tall, athletic, good looking, rich, you name all the positive things and he's it.

Well, anyhow, the story goes on where this girl is madly in love with this guy, and by some mishap their fathers are like best friends. When an earthquake takes down the girl's house the guy's parents are like OMG THAT'S YOUR OLD FRIEND!! And the two families end up living together. Now, to the girl this is like heaven and to the boy, its not that great. They get to know each others through fighting and arguing, but I think its also through this that they get closer and soon both fall in love with each others. Just, the problem is, the guy doesn't tell the girl, and instead he's a butt towards her. Then to make matters worse, another gal comes into the picture, she's like a duplicate of the guy just in a girl version. The main girl, she's worried and after a while it seems like the perfect two are gonna get married because the guy's father's company needs money and the duplicate girl's grand daddy is the funder etc. Well in the end, the main girl and the guy fall totally for each others and they get married, she straightens out her bad study habits and gets a degree in nursing and all is good.

How does this lead to the provocative thinking of love on my part? Well, my life somewhat reflects this, just, not exactly. I've been having a lot of bull crap views on love and bad stories of love. And, its funny, but now... I think I like one of my best guy friends. FML x100. Why the FML? Because, he's smart, he's athletic, he's got his charm, and he's just too good for me. To make matters worse, it seems that everyone else likes him too, FML! And, to make the already horrible conditions worse, one of my closer friends thinks she might like this guy so there goes all sense of hope.

It sucks because now it'll have to all stay in my heart, my emotions I mean. And I guess I can't complain seeing as I have known him for quite some time now, but one can't help but to feel some regret? GR! Curse these stupid emotions, man, sometimes I wonder what life would be if I didn't get special feelings like this. But then, I wouldn't feel the joys of love and such so eh, I guess these emotions are all worth it in the end. I think.

But yeah, bottom line, love... I know I feel something for my friend, but I'm almost 90% sure that he feels nothing special for me, which is pretty sad. Still, when I think about it, even if he did have special feelings for me, I think I'd be too afraid to act because I don't want to ruin the friendship I have with him. He's my pillar of strength and he keeps me from falling and letting the world around me crash down. I guess its better to keep him as my bestie than it is to have him as my significant other, but one can't help but to wonder, no?

Oh well, that's life I guess, confusion, wonder, GR!

The Asian Teen,

Kimmy